Monday, January 24, 2011

“It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life." Ben Stein

The past several months, I have had the feeling of victory within me. Maybe that's the reason why it's been so difficult for me this past week. I am fully aware of the actuality of defeat. I know it exists and plays a huge role in who we are.

It all started with my previous post. I think the facts about childhood sexual abuse are sure to upset anyone. I get upset. I get angry. I am in a rage right now. To be honest, if it weren't so cold outside, I would be tearing something apart. But instead, I'm working through the anger by writing. Anyway, I have found that when I'm reading about statistics and such, I sometimes feel like "really...I'm ONE out of 39+ million victims." Can you even fathom that number? I sure can't. That number makes me feel microscopic.  I feel that there are so many victims, that what I've lived through, is just a common pot hole in the road.  I know I have to get past this way of thinking.

Yesterday, my partner and I went to lunch with my youngest sister, her husband and their cute little boy.  We had such a great time.  We spent nearly two hours visiting and catching up on life.  Although my abuse was not discussed, I left feeling that my bucket of hope and determination had elevated.  The fact alone that she knows what I'm going through and still wants to have a relationship with me, gives me some comfort.

I know how the human mind works.  The brain is amazing.  I also know that it can be your strongest shield.  I believe it knows what you can handle and what you can't.  One of my exercises was to write down small details of my abuse.  This was very difficult because I don't like remembering things.  I wondered how the heck this could possibly help me.  Yes, I got angry.  Adding each word to my list was gut wrenching.  For the next couple of days, I had the courage to slowly write the words down in my notebook.

After some time, I made a discovery.  The words came easier, and the anger was subsiding.  I was able to read over my entire list.  I felt like a million pounds had been lifted from me.  I WAS HEALING!  Up until this point, I thought I would be living in misery and anger for the rest of my life.  My little Wendy Sue was breaking free.

So, there will always be those days when I feel completely defeated. But I am trying to learn to turn those feelings into feelings of victory.  No one sang it better than June Carter Cash!

There's a dark and troubled side of life.
There's a bright and a sunny side too.
Though we meet the darkness and strife,
The sunny side we also may view.

I guess just like my eggs, I want my days to be sunny side up. Looking upward at the great things that life can bring.  

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