That day started just like any other. My partner was heading to work and kids were heading to school. I can't tell you exactly what happened within me. I started my usual morning routine. I climbed up on my bed and opened the lap top. I enjoy reading the news and keeping up with current topics. As I was scrolling down the news page, a few words came to mind. Am I ready? I knew what I was asking myself. Obviously some part of my brain was doing some serious thinking. So, I decided that researching childhood sexual abuse was harmless. As I scoured the internet for articles and stories my heart began to sink. I stumbled across a website for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. My eyes were glued to the computer screen. Those stories....each story....was mine. The pain, anger and fear from being sexually abused exists in all victims. What I was feeling was indescribable. I began to sob uncontrollably. Right away I realized that I was ready and I needed help. Many of the websites had several helpful resources. Now was the time to make a trip to the book store.
I cried the entire way to my destination. With books in hand, eyes filled with tears, I approached the clerk. As she retrieved the books from me, immediately her cheerful "greeting" smile faded away. I was both embarrassed and humiliated. She kindly looked at me and explained even though I was a stranger to her, she wished me the best of luck and hoped that I would find happiness and peace. All I could do was force a meager smile in return. When I returned home, I plunged into the book. The next weeks were filled with a collection of many emotions. I spent the majority of my time reading and completing the tasks the books suggested.
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