Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome

Aahhhh...one of my favorite movies......Hope Floats.  Just a line in a script for some, but for me, those few word sum it all up.  Just something you have to accept, buck up, and deal with it.

It's been a week and a half since I've taken the next step in recovery. I have reported the abuse.  Talking with the officer was very difficult. He was very nice, and told me a Detective would be calling me. Hmmm.....still waiting.  I don't have much faith in our justice system, even less in Lehi Police Department.  The few encounters I have had with them have left me feeling like it's just better to get something done yourself. I guess we will see if they ever call me back :(

My sleeping sucks!  The nightmares have been only about 2-3 times a week now.  But when I have them they are so crazy and upsetting. They have involved my partner and my kids which gets me extremely upset.  I hate the way my dreams make me feel.  I not only lose much needed sleep, but also my carefree happy thoughts.  I have tried medication to help knock me out.  Listen, I should have never trusted the former game show host with this herbal sleeping aid.  "E" for effort though.  I can't remember the last time I slept all night.  I want to wake up feeling refreshed and having a clear mind.  Instead, I fight my body to surrender itself to the overwhelming tiredness it feels.  My mind is always filled with thoughts of resentment and anger.  What does one do?

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