I never used my childhood as an excuse for any problems or shortcomings I've experienced in my life. When starting this blog, I wanted healing. I wanted others to see and hear that life gets better and being branded as a broken child is all bullshit. I wanted me to be ok. Ok for myself and my family.
A few years after starting this blog, I found myself in front of my computer screen. Watching and listening to a woman I had never met. My then spouse was summing up my childhood with her. I don't recall much of anything that was said, other than what the woman said to me after asking to speak with me in private. "Wendy if this is something you ever want to do, call me."
The woman was an attorney for childhood sexual abuse. She was someone who I was told would help me take another step in the healing process. I am grateful that this woman was compassionate and intelligent enough to sense how I was feeling. Hearing the words "you deserve to take us on a cruise, you deserve to take the kids to Disneyland." How is that going to make me feel better about myself? What I deserve is a good night's sleep. What I deserve is peace and love. What I deserve is to forget. How would taking money from someone help me heal? Thank you again to this unknown woman for seeing what was happening.
My point of this post today is to tell you, the healing has to be for YOU. And YOU only. The journey will benefit others. But, if you keep focused on you, the ones benefiting will be the ones who need it and deserve it.
This past year, my father passed away. Alot of emotions with that process. Maybe a post in the future with more details. Maybe not. Let me tell you, life is good. The healing I've had the past 15 months has been amazing. No outside pressure. No outside opinions. No outside force feeding the hate and anger. Remember, everything is going to be ok.
No comments:
Post a Comment